WE MISS YOU!!! We hope that you don’t suffer from severe
cultural shock going back to life in America. If you do you can always come
back to Tchad
.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Janna
Criminal Intentions- Carlie
I am planning murder. I day-dream about it, and it has become an
obsession is some ways. Its premeditated
murder and I accept full responsibilities for my actions. Those who know of my plan, who could be
labeled as accomplices shall not be named.
There are different ways to commit murder and I have
thought of many. Strangulation, stoning,
bow and arrow, knife, sling shot (if it was good enough for David, its good
enough for me) and being buried alive are some of my options. Taking it captive and forcing it to live in a
cage as my pet also has merit. My many
options for death are causing me to be indecisive, but the result is the
same. Though I don’t relish the idea of
being in jail in a foreign country, in the end it will be worth it. That stupid bird most DIE!
When I was younger I wanted a parrot. An African Grey Parrot to be exact. I wanted to walk around with bird on my
shoulder like a pirate. To teach it to
talk, and mimic what I say. But after
being here in Africa I have lost this desire.
Until two days ago I didn’t know what kind of bird I was planning to
murder, I just knew it had die. But now
I know that I will be murdering a King Fisher.
He is all white with bright sky blue wings with black tips, and a orange
beak. He is beautiful. And he makes the
most annoying sounds I have heard. He makes a sound like a beeping alarm clock
that starts to get faster and raises an octave after each note. This blue parrot sits out on a tree outside
my window and repeatedly makes this sound over and over again. Normally I could care less, I mean birds make
sounds all the time. But this bird
decides to do his annoying sounds outside my window at five o’clock in the
morning! And this is not just every now
and then; this is EVERY morning at the same time! I could set my alarm to this bird! Except for I don’t, because I don’t want to
get up at five o’clock in the morning after getting home from the hospital each
night at 9:30. I want to sleep for another hour or so. And unlike Methuselah our owl, when I yell at
the bird to shut up he does not listen.
I thought that maybe he doesn’t speak English so I have tried yelling at
him in French, Spanish and the local language. (I might have even thrown out
some Marshallese just for good measure. It was hard to remember because it was
five o’clock in the morning!!) Apparently he does not speak any of those languages
because he continues to make the same sounds every morning. (Athens was gone
for four days and didn’t witness me start yelling and speaking in tongues at
five o’clock in the morning. She
probably would have thought I was going crazy!)
And to add to my misery, he sometimes decided to come back at six
o’clock and do the same thing. He is on my list, and that’s not a good list to
be on! He is asking for it, and I will retaliate!!
So the other morning while I was laying in bed,
after being woken up by the annoying parrot at five in the morning, after
yelling at him to shut up for more than ten minutes, I decided that I had, had
enough! The King Fisher has been warned
multiple times in several languages, and now must pay the consequences. The bird must die.
You know you’ve been in Chad to long when……
You growl after you
snatch the last piece of chocolate….Carlie.
Pooping in a
toilet is a luxury.
When a dozen
flies land on you and you just don’t care.
When the smell
of urine, vomit, breast milk and diarrhea doesn’t bother you.
When you don’t
stop for the children in the middle of the road.
When the sounds
of church bells, screech owls and funeral drums don’t keep you up at night.
When your able
to tell when a baby is about to pee on you.
When you think
that dark area on your arm is a tan when really its built up dirt.
When the
condition of a 3rd world hospital appears normal. (rats, bats and
topless women)
When you don’t
notice that everyone is staring at you.
When you answer
when someone yells out “Nasara”.
When your
primary language is “Frenchlish”.
When you prefer
the outside shower surrounded by a grass fence and occupied by lizards instead
of an indoor shower.
When your worst
shopping addiction is ethnic handmade baskets.
When it drops
below 85oF and you reach for a sweater and a blanket.
When getting
mail feels like you’ve won the lottery.
When you can
predict the weather by how well your cell phone is working.
When you race out of the shower because you thought you heard an elephant but it ended up being a cow in distress.
Life is never boring in the bush.
African road trip/one day church- Athens
4:45 am- We are loaded up in the car Joanna and Darren,
Kaleb, Franco and myself. While Jonathan and Melody are on the Motto. The back
end of the land cruiser is packed full of our luggage and the roof is piled
high with ladders and a scaffolding. Our destination is Kumra 230k southeast of
Béré
which with paved roads and no problems it should only take 4 hours to get there
but this is Africa and we have neither. The first hour of the trip is constant
swerving and hitting pot holes and bouncing everywhere in the car. Before we
even reach the next village Lia our brakes go out. We pull over and while the
men try and repair what they can I take a nap in the back seat J
The brakes aren’t perfect and we need to pump them several
times ahead of time… we keep going. The roads start to have a pattern to then
deep sand, deep hole, lots of mud, deep puddles etc. But no matter what you
just keep going otherwise we’ll get stuck. The roads continued like this until
half way between Lia and Doba where the river from got so high it completely
whipped out the road. The locals had conues ready to take mottos and people
across to the other side but that didn’t really help our car situation. So we
waded through the water to measure the depth to determine if we could make it
across in the car. In the end we went for it. Just keep going. As we make it
successful through the deep water and round the bend we are greeted with another long stretch of water that is deeper
and less promising then the first. After much contemplation and prayer we go
for it. The water was seeping in the bottom of the door and it was almost
covering the hood but we made it through.
I spend most of the trip in miserable pain. I’m dreadfully
car sick and I think I might have a concussion from hitting my head on the roof
repeatedly from the creator size holes in the road. We stop every so often to
buy food and to use the rest room…which is crouching in some ones field.
When we finally make it to Doba I could barley believe my
eyes….paved roads!
Rules of the Tchadian roads: Keep one foot on the gas, one
hand on the horn, continue, continue.
The trip from there was a lot faster and smoother with the
occasional speed bump and toll booth.
We finally make it to our destination at 5:30 pm, a whole 12
hours later. Pastor David the man in charge of showing us where we are sleeping
and building is still not there. We wait there until 8pm when he finally shows
up to tell us about the building projects. We came with the intention of
building three one day churches in three different locations. One of the
locations was completely inaccessible due to the flooding and another had land
donated by the government but because they waited so long to build the
government took the land back. So we were left with one location to build at.
Slight teeny problem the building materials aren’t here. Hmmm. Even though we
were told before we came that everything was ready and materials were at the
locations. Oh the frustration, but im to tired an I just want to stretch out
and sleep after being cramped in a car all day.
The next morning we go to our site that is 15k away from the
village we are staying at in Kumra. The village there has tried to build a
church in the past but it was blown down by the wind not the best. There foundation that they had was still usable but
to big for the One Day structure. We start clearing the area and doing what we
can in order to prepare for the following day…. We are hopefully the building
materials will arrive so that this trip would not have been for nothing. After
we have done all that we can do we spend some time trying to improve the break
further and visit with people from the village. They grasesoly left us use
there shower. It’s a dirt mound with stick walls that don’t even reach my
shoulders so I have to be careful not to stan to straight. I enjoy the view of
the field, trees and sunset as I wash away the gallon of sweat that is
plastered to my body. By 7pm we are heading back to our sleeping quarters. When
we arrive we are greeted with the unfriendly sight of a mound of steel…. Not
what I was hoping for.
Sorting building material; for 3 churches at 10pm in the
dark with nothing but our head lamps while bug make their way into my nose
mouth and eyes is not how I envisioned relaxing before bed. But we all work
together to sort out materials and are relived that we don’t have to get up at
4 am to do it then. And now we have what we need to build a church.
Up again at 5am to pack up the car with the building
materials and all out stuff. I decide to use the bathroom and when I walk
inside and see cockroaches the size of small dinosaurs. I retreat in fear. My
fear of bugs has decreased since living in Tchad but I do not do cockroaches. I
decided I would rather get a UTI then relive myself in front an army of
cockroaches.
When we reach the building site again we start right away
organizing everything. Everyone has a task but me… I’ve never build a one day
church so I have no idea what is going on. They had me a screw gun and show me
what to do. So I go to town drilling anything and everything that needs to be
drilled until that is my new friend Demi a young man that lives in the village
want a turn at drilling too. And soon are task is done. Now we just have to
wait for the men on the latter’s to put up the roof. I sit back with the rest
of the women and watch as the locals work at building alongside the rest of the
group. And I an amazed at how chaos can turn into organized structure so
quickly. We are interrupted by a brief rain storm and everyone scatters.
When the rain stops we are back to work. Demi and I have
teamed up again to secure the lowest part of the roof and even up this high I
am slightly anxious. Heights are not my
thing. Continue, continue. And by 5pm we are finished. There is singing and
drums and prayer and shouts of joy. We sing some songs in English and they
record us on their ancient boom box tape player. And play it back when we’ve
finished.
After everything is put away and we have all showered we are
invited to the pastors house for a meal. Yum!!! I love local food. And I’ve
only eaten gatos (fried dough, pretty much like a doughnut) and bread for the
last 3 days so beans and rice taste like heaven on earth. Some of the people in
the village are so greatful for the church that they give us gifts like
tomatos, corn, eggplant and peanuts. This is how they make their money to what
they survive on so giving it to us is a sign of great respect.
The trip home the next day is long. We are up by 4am and on
the road by 5am. We stop in Doba to get are breaks repaired again so that we
have a safer trip home. The trip
takes just as long to get home and to fight the nausra and car sickness I stick
my head out the window like a dog and just take in the sceneary. It is so
beautiful and are we pass by everyone waves and yells “nasara”.
We make it back home at 5pm just in time to get ready for
the Sabbath and a welcome home dinner from the rest of the group. Perfect ways
to start the Sabbath. Rested, fed and
with friends.
African Suitor -Carlie
So I have an African suitor. His name is Renee, and he came for me. He is an intern at the hospital and works in
the lab. He got off of work the same
time I did and so I gave him a ride home a couple of times. Since he lives in Bendale close to my house,
I never felt like I could tell him no when he asked for a ride on my moto. He speaks French and very little English, and
since I speak English and only a little French we could communicate very
little. But as I was dropping him off
one time, he asks me in English, “May I come for you?” In my head I am thinking, Come for me?
Like as in another ride home tomorrow? So in my ignorance in not
really understanding what he is saying I reply, “Ahh… sure why not.” After that he walks the rest the way home and
I go into the house thinking nothing of it.
So later that evening I am washing the dishes in the
kitchen when I hear Bronwny at the door.
She walks in and asks me if I know a guy named Renee because he is
outside and in his own words, “Has come for me.” I stare at her in shock, and yell, “WHAT!!
No!!” I look out the window and there he is, Renee…. And he has indeed come for
me. I proceed to tell Bronwyn the story
and what he said to me and plead with her to help me get rid of him. She thinks this is hilarious and is laughing
her head off. Athens has been gone the
whole for the last couple days to help build a church so I am home alone and am
so thankful the Bronwyn arrived to help deal with him. She has been in Africa for a year and speaks
French so I feel more confident stepping outside to talk to my African suitor.
We walk outside together to great Renee. He is dressed extremely nicely for an
African, with a nice collared shirt, and black dress pants. Seeing him all
dressed up makes me feel slightly guilty, but he needs to go pronto!! Bronwyn starts to talk to him in French and
he doesn’t say much why he is here. We
all stand there in awkward silence.
Bronwyn leans over and whispers to me that she feels like a third
wheel. I quietly but strongly inform her
that this is NOT a date and that she is not going anywhere! But my mind is
running wild with thoughts of why he is at my house. Does he think this is a date? Is this a date?!! Do Africans date?! What
exactly does, “May I come for you” mean…. Did I just agree to marry him?! Or is
he planning to take me to his compound where I can’t leave and forced to be his
woman?! That last thought makes me laugh out loud, because there is no way
that is happening! I try to get a grip
on my crazy imagination and participate in the converstation. But then I
guiltily remember that is my entire fault that he is here because I said “yes”
to his asking to come for me. How was I supposed to know that’s what he
meant?! Oh, why didn’t I plead
ignorance which really wouldn’t have been a lie because I had no idea what he
was asking me!! We all continue to talk for a few more minutes with periods
of brief awkward silence, when he finally tells us to have a good night and
leaves.
As he walks away Bronwyn asks me what I will say
next time someone asks if, “They can come for me?” Which I reply with a big
fat, “NO!!” Now my African suitor story
has become a big joke among the missionaries as they jokingly ask if they can,
“come for me”. Not funny.
Dirty Fun
Two weekends ago Janna,
Bronwyn, Athens and I decided to go have some dirty fun and go mudding on the
motorcycles. We have had lots of rain
recently and the main road is covered with huge puddles. We decided to take advantage while we could.
So with Athens on the
back of my moto, and Janna on the back of Bronwyns we tore down the road,
spraying water everywhere. Some of the puddles here at least knee high and as I
drove up to a puddle I would uncousiously slow down but was quickly reminded to
“step on it” by the peanut gallery in the back (Athens). We drove down the road hitting all the puddles, getting
soaking wet and all laughing hysterically.
I had to remind myself each time I drove through a puddle to keep my
mouth shut and not laugh so I wouldn’t swallow any puddle water. But it was hard to stop laughing, and I am
sure I got some of that nasty dark brown water in my mouth.
We finally had to stop because the road turned
into a river. From that point on they
were taking people down the road in canoes.
Or some people would walk through water that looked like it was waist
deep in some parts. Even though I would
have loved to keep going, I knew it would have been death of our bikes so
decided to see if there was a way to go around the river that was the road.
So we followed a
smaller pathway looking for a way around, but our search only led us to a field
that had become a swamp. When life gives you water, go swimming. And
that’s what we did We parked the bikes in some bushes and went tromping out
in the swamp to investigate. And in
the middle of that swampy field was a lone canoe just asking to be sat in. How
could we resist? After sitting in the canoe we quickly realized the reason
it was abandoned…it had a hole in the bottom.
But being as wet as we were it didn’t make much difference to us that
canoe was slowly filling with water. We reenacted Pocahontas’ “Just around the
river bend” and Christopher Columbus’s discovery or America.
Carlie thought she was
the Captain but everyone knows that Athens is the only true pirate at heart.
Arrrr!
We decided to do some
exploring/swimming in the flooded rice field.
So we started off walking towards deeper water further out in the field. As we were walking in a line one after the
other in water that was up to our knees I had a vague feeling of déjà vu. As we kept walking, I kept scanning the water
for snakes, and that’s when it hit me; Anaconda the movie! (Horribly done movie, and not worth seeing
for those who have not seen it.) But in
that movie there is a scene where there are people walking in line through the
swamp just like we were doing. Then all
a sudden a huge anaconda come and grabs both the person in the front and the
person in the back of the line dragging them underwater. As the scene from the movie runs through my
head I decide that being the leader of this swamp expedition is not the
smartest idea, and let Janna pass me so I am now in the middle. Its survival of
the fittest here in Africa! Feel less exposed in the middle of the line, I
decided to share the movie scene with the others (which they don’t find amusing
at all), and before I know it I am back in the lead. No one wants to be the leader now that I
brought up snakes. I should have kept my mouth shut. To make
myself feel better about being the leader, I tell myself that most likely the
person brining up the rear would get taken. As I look at who is bringing up the
rear I think; Bronwyn is a good friend,
and that I will miss her. |
| Vogue |
After
awhile I decided that I want some picture of me in the water by the rice
stalks. And that turns into swamp vogue
shoot. Athens is sticking leaves and rice stalks in my hair and Bronwyn is
smearing mud on my face. I look like
this crazy Amazon swamp woman with vegetation sticking out crazily in my hair
and mud smeared on my face like war paint.
Soon both Janna and Bronwyn are looking like fierce Amazon warriors and
we are vogueing in the swamp, while Athens is playing photographer. (And if anyone asks to see these pictures I
will plead ignorance, so forget about seeing them!) What happens in Africa stays in Africa! Until Athens puts them on facebook.
When
our photo shoot is done we head back to our bikes that our thankfully still
there. The drive back through the
puddles is just as much fun as it was before!
I am hitting the puddles at full speed, splashing anyone who gets to close,
shouting sorry in French (Désolé) as I speed by. Bronwyn and Janna do wipe out on the way
back, but thankfully no one was hurt including the bike. We stop by the side of the road to take
pictures of the big sign that welcomes you to Béré. And Athens teaches some
kids that are swimming in a nearby puddle how to “Tebow”. Then we head for
home, soaking wet, cover in dirty and who knows what else, but with smiles on
our faces. It was a dirty fun day!!
Armpit Abscess- Athens
The day after my Malaria is officially gone I
discover a lump in my armpit. Carlie thinks it’s a swollen lymph node, Janna
thinks it’s a parasite, and well I’m not really sure what it is I just want it
to go away. I spend the night sleeping all awkward because it caused me so much
pain.
I gave in and went to see the doctor two days later
and one look at it and she says it’s an abscess. I guess Olen and Jamie have
both had on in their armpits too. So I am not alone in this. She prescribed me
Cipro and told me to put warm and cool compresses on it. I guess we’ll see
where it goes from there.
I’ve had this abscess for 1 week now and it has
grown to the side of a very large almond. It would throb with pain very time I
moved my arm or leaned on it. I’ve had to sleep on my back with my arm at a 45
degree angle from the side of my body just so I could sleep without pain. I’m
not even going to go into the fact that I can shave my armpit because of the
mass and the pain. It’s so gross!!!
2 weeks- My abscess is still there the pain has
minimized a great deal but the size is the same but it has become firm and when
palpating around you can feel a mass beneath the protrusion. Danae says it
could turn into cellulites. That would be
just my luck! My eyes wide she sees that I’m appalled. “Can’t we just cut
it out?” She says yes, thank God.
3 weeks- It is going down by itself. No surgery
needed. There is a small lump underneath the skim and a darkened area where it
was but I’m pretty much abscess free. Just pray it does not return with a
vengeance. And now I can shave my armpit finally!
Abscess in the flesh, literally. Unshaven and stinky.
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