Criminal Intentions- Carlie

I am planning murder.  I day-dream about it, and it has become an obsession is some ways.  Its premeditated murder and I accept full responsibilities for my actions.  Those who know of my plan, who could be labeled as accomplices shall not be named.

There are different ways to commit murder and I have thought of many.  Strangulation, stoning, bow and arrow, knife, sling shot (if it was good enough for David, its good enough for me) and being buried alive are some of my options.  Taking it captive and forcing it to live in a cage as my pet also has merit.  My many options for death are causing me to be indecisive, but the result is the same.  Though I don’t relish the idea of being in jail in a foreign country, in the end it will be worth it.  That stupid bird most DIE!

When I was younger I wanted a parrot.  An African Grey Parrot to be exact.  I wanted to walk around with bird on my shoulder like a pirate.  To teach it to talk, and mimic what I say.  But after being here in Africa I have lost this desire.  Until two days ago I didn’t know what kind of bird I was planning to murder, I just knew it had die.  But now I know that I will be murdering a King Fisher.  He is all white with bright sky blue wings with black tips, and a orange beak.  He is beautiful. And he makes the most annoying sounds I have heard. He makes a sound like a beeping alarm clock that starts to get faster and raises an octave after each note.  This blue parrot sits out on a tree outside my window and repeatedly makes this sound over and over again.  Normally I could care less, I mean birds make sounds all the time.  But this bird decides to do his annoying sounds outside my window at five o’clock in the morning!  And this is not just every now and then; this is EVERY morning at the same time!  I could set my alarm to this bird!  Except for I don’t, because I don’t want to get up at five o’clock in the morning after getting home from the hospital each night at 9:30. I want to sleep for another hour or so.  And unlike Methuselah our owl, when I yell at the bird to shut up he does not listen.  I thought that maybe he doesn’t speak English so I have tried yelling at him in French, Spanish and the local language. (I might have even thrown out some Marshallese just for good measure. It was hard to remember because it was five o’clock in the morning!!) Apparently he does not speak any of those languages because he continues to make the same sounds every morning. (Athens was gone for four days and didn’t witness me start yelling and speaking in tongues at five o’clock in the morning.  She probably would have thought I was going crazy!)  And to add to my misery, he sometimes decided to come back at six o’clock and do the same thing. He is on my list, and that’s not a good list to be on! He is asking for it, and I will retaliate!!

So the other morning while I was laying in bed, after being woken up by the annoying parrot at five in the morning, after yelling at him to shut up for more than ten minutes, I decided that I had, had enough!  The King Fisher has been warned multiple times in several languages, and now must pay the consequences.  The bird must die.