Home Wrecker

When working in Urgence/Medicine I work with a Chadian nurse who can speak Nadaria, French, Arab and a couple other local languages.  There are three male nurses that I rotate with every other week.  Their names are Hamadu, Serifem, and Alexi.  The first two want me to be there second wife and the last one wants me to give him a white baby.

Hamadu and I have had many discussions on how you should only have one wife, but it makes no difference to him what I say.  He wants two wives and 12 children.  He has told me more than once that he prays to God that I am for him.  Which I kindly explain to him that I will not be someone’s second wife.  He accuses me of not loving African people because I will not marry him or another African man.  I tell him that I am going home in December and that it’s not all about him!  

Serifem asked me to marry him the first day I worked with him.  He found out that I was not married and decided that I needed to marry him.  I asked if he was married and he said no.  But then I later found out he had a wife and two little girls.  I told him I won’t marry a man that is already married.  He told me that was fine, that he would send his first wife away, and then I would become his first wife. He is willing to divorce his wife for me!!! I asked what would happen to his two girls.  He told me that we would keep the girls and that I would give him two boys.  He wants a total of four kids.  He has two girls and now needs two boys.  Though I tell him I won’t marry him, Serifem has begun to address me as “Second Wife”.  He even introduces me to patients as, “Carlie my second wife.”  Serifem once told me that I should take him home on my moto after work and stay for a visit.  When I asked him if he would lock me in his compound he just smiled and laughed.  I took that as a yes, and told him there would be no visiting at his home.  I will not be forced into being someone’s second wife by being locked in their compound.

Alexi has never asked me to marry him, but he has asked me to give him a white baby.  He loves kids, and wants a white baby for some reason. I told him that I am leaving soon and it would not be possible to give him a white baby in two months. He told me that I could mail it to him once I get home.  Like the baby was chocolate in a box!! LOL!!   Alexie is 27 but not married which is rare here in Chad.  Most young people are “married” by their 20’s.  Alexi explained to me he is not married because he needs to earn more money.  You have to pay a bridal price to the girl’s parents.  The bridal price can be in money, cows, horses, or camels. Alexi says he does not own any animals so he will pay money.  One time I asked him how many camels I was worth, which he told me, “I don’t have any camels.”  I told him that I knew he didn’t have any camels but if he did have some camels, how many camels I would be worth.  “But I don’t have any camels.” AHHH!! I know you don’t have any camels Alexi!  Never mind.  He couldn’t seem to understand my question.  So I didn’t find out how many camels I would be worth.

All three nurses I work with are harmless.  Not once have I felt threatened by their comments of marriage, babies, or spending the night with them.  And they don’t seem to mind that I laugh in their face over their ridiculous comments and proposals.  I have enjoyed working with all three of them even on the days when I can’t find them and forced to do all medication by myself and try and admit a patient who only speaks Nadria.  They have all made me feel welcome at the hospital and I have learned much from working with them.  Even though some of my nursing skill I have learned I would never be able to do in America.